Silly Slice

Secret of Relationship Manangement

We recently concluded the YES+ at Thane and Mulund here in Mumbai by having a Joint Session. The participants were fortunate to have Anjana Didi and Vivek Bhaiyya on that session. What a Couple!!! And they spoke on Relationship Management... much to the delight of participants, most of whom fell in the age group of 18-23 and had aptly asked the questions on the same..  Relationships, Inter-Personal and Relationship with oneself!

I make an honest effort to put everything verbatim, though there may be some deviations..

Q. My parents are opposed to my boyfriend, he is a nice guy, understanding loving caring, settled, etc.. should we elope and marry ?

A. No, YOU WON'T! If the boy is genuinely good then you should talk it out with your parents and reason them. Get the guy to meet your parents. Make them realise that he is indeed best for you. May be you will have to fight it out rather than just explain. Persist. But You definitely shouldnt run away with him.

Q. I am attached to people. What should I do?

A. Good you have realised it atleast. Now just look back and see. Attachments have only brought misery. Look at a child.. If you take away its toy, it is in pain. Do Sudarshan Kriya daily. And if you get attached again to anything just remnd yourself that it will bring you pain and sorrow.

Q. Who am I? What is the purpose of Life? what am I supposed to do?

A. Very good question. Be with it. Come on the courses. Meditate. do Sadhana(Spiritual Practices taught in YES+ i.e Sudarshan Kriya) Seva (service projects) and Satsang (singing and celebrating in the company Master). Come on advance course. Figure it out yourself. 

You know YES+ was just a trailer. (Laughter)

Tell me! What is the routine of Dogs? They get up, Yawn and freshen up. Then they go on to work, searching for food and protecting their territory. Come back and bring some food for its puppies. etc. and in some corner dies without making any significant contribution to planet. How different is a routine, mundane human life.. Absolutely the same.. We get up brush, do potty, bath, go out, earn a living raise young ones and in some corner of world we die! Are we dogs? Definitely no.! So start Making a difference to planet.. contributing to the society.. There is nothing you can take along with you when you die. But You can add value and beauty before you depart.

Q. My BF is educationally less qualified than me. Does it matter? Should I marry him or leave him?

A. That is Ok assumed that he is financially sound. Don't just look into degrees and material aspects. Look at the ethereal aspect also. Is he a genuinely good human. Is he selfish or cares for everyone around? Is he a person with good intentions? Is he "Enthusiastic, Loving, Compassionate, Joyful, Intelligent and Wise, Practical etc"

You know degrees don't count much after you are settled with him. What counts is whether his state of mind is calm and relaxed. That is what you are going to share with him if you get married to him! Not the degrees.

A research at Harvard University states that only 12.5 percent of life is dependent on domain skills (degrees and subject knowledge) and 87.5 percent of what counts is the soft skills (state of mind and Self Knowledge) that an individual possess.. i.e genuinely mature personality. And what you learnt here on the course was meant for your soft skills, isn't it.. 22years of domain learning may get you a much coveted job but soft skills will take care thereafter in life both professional and personal.

And Finally the favourite Question, rather the answer.

Q. (I dont remember much about the Q but it was about some relationship going kaput and all the circus that usually goes along with that, may be i ll put it exactly later!) .. The question as i put here in bracket revolved around HOW TO MAKE A RELATIONSHIP SUCCESSFUL and LAST FOR LIFETIME?

A : Shall I tell you a secret?? (YES YES) Ok.! There are 5 Things..

1.ALWAYS GIVE GENEROUSLY.. give genuinely and give more.. problems start when you focus on what you ll get rather than what you can give in a relationship.. Both have to start thinking from space of contribution to others life. You know, How a demanding partner is like? I want this I want that etc.. Dont You? Headache

2. ASK and TAKE GRACIOUSLY... relationship is give and take.. when you have started giving generously you ask graciously when needed. some people initially display godliness by turning down whatever is offered and one day suddenly find themselves in ditch of Self-Pity.. "Oh i did tso much for him/her plus I gave away my everything and see i got nothing in return".. so she says accept graciously and at times ask favours.

3WOMEN ARE SENSITIVE and EMOTIONAL, DO NOT HURT THEiR CORE FEELINGS..

All males here.. open your ears and listen.. Girls are sensitive. Do not hurt there feeling espcially when they have lost it, crying etc. Do not comment anything on her brother, mom, dad.. EVEN IF she tells you her dad is not good and her brother is sick, behave as if you dont exist on this planet or you are deaf and mute.. If you negate her (nods sideways) you are gone!!! (Laughter)

And if you affirm the same then you are definitely history (Huge Laughter, loudest was mine :) )

4. MEN HAVE EGOS, PAMPER IT AND THEY WILL DO ANYTHING FOR YOU...

All girls here open your ears and listen!!! Pamper the mans ego if you want best out of him.. he may be an utterly useless fellow ever to have walked on the planet according to you (laughter) but you have to pamper his ego. praise him.. say "you" look like salman hrithik watever.. The world may look down upon him as useless and it will not matter an inch to him.. he ll go about his business usual. But if you start calling him useless he will become a dead vegetable good for nothing even if he is a machoman! And guess wat if you do that again and again to him.. HE WILL GO AND FIND A GIRL WHO KNOWS HOW TO TAKE OF HIS MANLY EGO (Laughter) (here I just smiled)

5. PLACE A HIGHER GOAL ABOVE BOTH OF YOU..

Demands and complaints are often if the focus of partners is on each other.. isnt it.. Dont wear this dont do this, i dont like this, why are you doing that... etc... Expecting an near enlightened behaviour from each other (reason for problems since neither is enlitghened) is common if your whole focus is your partner. Rather if both of you work toward a common goal, which is Higher (spiritual service etc) than the mundane activity(like shopping list, movie list, wishlist, curtains, interiors, jobs etc) then your relationship will be deeper, meaningful, ever new, exciting and adventerous..

I have ran out of time.. there were few more genuine questions and some practical exciting answers.. will put them later... will make you come back isnt it!

LOVE,

ANAND JAGE

How May I help You ?

Dear Friends, Relatives, Acquaintances, Strangers and Enemies, and you irritating Loved ones :)

Often you people ask me this or that, what should be done this or that, etc etc etc.. Let me remind you that asking for something is your right and answering the same is my voluntary choice. When you ask for help you should be propelled by your helplessness. Otherwise you can help yourelf! And you ask for help you cant ask for help in "inevrted commas".. You drop your concepts and don't eat my head... And if you ask me you know I am going to talk of Art of Living Course. If you have already done one, then I will recommend you advanced courses, right? If you want some convenient advice, don't ask me. I can only speak for my verified experience that Art of Living works! So if you aren't satisfied then go and dig your well elsewhere. But don't call me a propogandist or something. Guruji did not send me to get more of you at his feet.. I liked the courses, it works, so I share. It may not work for you or it may work better than me, but dont assume that Guruji is happy seeing more disciples at his feet. He is only intersted in your personal and universal spiritual growth. I mean how you guys with such bloated egoes inspite of your miserable things can afford to think that you can be of some value to an Established Yogi like Guruji. We all need help and He is there to help us and that is it, thats all!!... It is all one way flow, unidirectional.. from Him to Us!

Alright people?

So this month end don't act like intellectual logical pricks, upgrade your life, enhance you life, refine your life, come on the YES+ course (Youth Empowerment Skills Workshop).

27th October - 1st November 2009

Those who have done YES+ can come on the DSN course with Bawa and Dinesh starting on 5th Nov till 8th Nov (residential course)

For Applying to the above Courses,

Contact :

Tanvi - 9223279779

Jigar  - 9223371002

Diwali with Guruji

Wish you all a very Happy and Prosperous Diwali filled with His Presence in and around You